Cutting edge for pastors and ministry leaders.

How to Protect Your Teen from the Dangers of Pornography

[Editor’s note: I have deleted from this article the stats, since they are covered in Josh McDowell’s research.]

By: Mark Haviland

how to protectOur families are under full-blown assault and our children are becoming the greatest casualties! This is such a large and complex subject to cover and we will only scratch the surface within this article, so I highly encourage you to begin doing your homework on how to guard you and your family when it comes to online activity.

What Porn Does to a Teenager’s Mind

News flash: Teens are super dramatic! Surely they want to blame it on the old adage that we parents are lame and couldn’t possibly understand what they are going through or feeling. Nah, that couldn’t possibly be it. (Been there, done that- right?) But there actually is some scientific data that backs up why adolescents can be so dramatic. During this time the brain begins to “reprogram” itself, preparing for the transition from childhood into adulthood. One major change is the loss of unused connections in the “grey matter” of the brain, while other connections are being formed. As the brain adapts to new growth and environment, some parts carry the weight of another, thus adding a bit of “spice” to what may normally be a natural function of that particular area. A teen’s brain can be very influential during this time, which makes pornography so incredibly dangerous.

When we view stimulating images our brains release massive amounts of chemicals: namely dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin. Now, God has designed the function of each chemical to be used in our daily life and healthy sexuality; but when abused outside of His will, it can become a chaotic elixir of sexual and emotional stimuli. Just like a drug, this release can cause a euphoric reaction with strong emotional and mental ties. And, if repeated again and again, will become addictive and eventually require more and more to attain the same results.

Do you see the deadly trap that is set? A young person that is extremely vulnerable to emotions and mental influence in the first place is now going up against one of  the most aggressive and destructive forces they will ever face! How can they stand a chance?!

How it Affects the Sexes

Pornography is set up as a one way street: you only receive and never have to give. If you get bored with one partner, off they go and new entertainment is but a click away. There is never any talk back, the need to bond with another, no output of emotions…nothing. Just get yours and move on. Just think of the message this sends to our youth! It burns the thought into boys that women are nothing more than mere sex objects and completely disposable. And if a young man ever does decide to pursue a relationship with a girl, he is absolutely ill-equipped to lead her and invest in her outside of a superficial level.

For our girls it sends the message of a false love. They never have to be pursued or have a boy win their heart. Just “give it up” and keep him happy physically and she is sure he will be hers forever. Isn’t it so obvious the girls in the movies enjoy what they are doing? So sex CAN equal love, right? WRONG! I read one interview of a pornography producer that spilled a few behind the scenes secrets. The main point that really stuck out to me was how the producer admitted he cut out all of the scenes where the girls are expressing any emotions outside of enjoyment. As he put it, it would be really counter-productive to sales and promotion if we saw the girls crying, in pain, or anything else that may make us think twice from watching the video.

Disgusting. This is nothing less than sex trafficking and it is being sold to our sons and daughters as admirable, appropriate, and even expected.

What Parents Can Do

First off, ask yourself if this is something you struggle with too. If it is, address it right away. Ephesians 5:11-12 tells us, “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.” (NKJV)  As parents, we simply cannot lead and protect our families from something if we are engaged in the very same sin! Come clean before God, someone you can trust, and your spouse. Satan only operates in the dark, but Jesus rescues and restores us in the light.

Second, have an open conversation with your children. Discuss with them the dangers of pornography, what the Bible says about it, and the lie it truly is. Once you have established a firm foundation of facts and trust, ask them to be open and let you know if they have been or are currently engaging in pornography. If they have, please remember the courage it took for them to admit it and the respect they showed by telling you. Handle it in an age appropriate manner and surely let them know your home is a safeguard against condemnation- but a fortress of love and security. If they can have these conversations with you on a regular basis, I am sure your family will thrive on so many different levels.

Finally, remove any barriers that threaten your family’s safety and integrity. Set household rules such as all electronic devices off at a certain time (yours too) and placed out in the open for the night. Keep all computers in family areas such as the living room, so there are never any closed doors. Lastly, install safety net devices such as Covenant Eyes on all Internet devices such as phones, tablets, and computers. This way the filter will guard what comes through and the weekly reports will keep everyone accountable on what they view.

Look, our enemy has one objective: to steal, kill, and destroy. There is no doubt he has a mean grip in our homes with the destructive nature of pornography. Although we cannot fend for everyone else- we can definitely protect our own home. Parents, take action NOW- don’t wait! Each unprotected moment that passes our kids are put in harm’s way. On the flip side, God has given us the Biblical mandate to raise our kids in Christ and protect them from the influences of the world. When we rise to this calling as Christian parents we not only bring our kids closer to Christ, but we bring Christ where He belongs- into the center of our homes.

Article originally published on eatingmanna.com.

Matt Haviland is the founder of “A Father’s Walk” single dad ministry, the author of “A Father’s Walk: A Christian-Based Resources for Single Fathers and the coauthor of “The Daddy Gap”.  He currently lives with his wife and daughter in his hometown of Grand Rapids, MI and is the co-founder of the Grand Rapids Single Parenting Expo. For more information on the ministry and how to form a single dad small group in your own church, please visit www.afatherswalk.org.   

Author

Related posts

PASSING THE TORCH

By: Frank Tunstall, D. Min. “If you love me, you will obey what I...

“CRAVING TO UNDERSTAND”

By: Frank Tunstall The prophets:  “yearning to understand Messiah’s suffering and glory” (1 Peter...

THE CROSS IS OUR STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

 ChristianityToday.com/ct/2019/November/cross-is-our-stairway-to-heaven.html Our salvation comes not from someone on our level, but from someone infinitely...

HOW BILLY GRAHAM LEARNED THE ART OF PREACHING

https://www.christianitytoday.com/pastors/2019/august-web-exclusives/billy-graham-learned-art-of-preaching.html? The late evangelist called himself the “champion rambler.” By: Grant Wacker  When I...

THE BILLY GRAHAM RULE GOES TO COURT

https://www.christianitytoday.com/news/2019/august/billy-graham-rule-sheriff-north-carolina-lawsuit.html? A North Carolina sheriff’s deputy sues his former employer for religious discrimination after...

BIVOCATIONAL AND COVOCATIONAL MINISTRY

  www.christianitytoday.com/pastors/2019/spring/no-easy-calling.html? Three honest stories about its rewards and challenges. BY: LINDA W. PERKINS...

SEXUAL ABUSE AND THE CLERGY

 www.snapnetwork.org/abuse of faith_feb19 Debbie Vasquez at 14 By:  SNAP  Survivors Network of those Abused...

YOUR PLAN B IS STILL GOD’S PLAN

christianitytoday.com/women/2019/january/church-planting-your-plan-b-is-still-gods-plan.html  By: Sandra Peoples In 2015, my husband and I moved from rural Pennsylvania...

THE MAGNIFICAT

By Frank Tunstall The Holy Spirit overshadowed the Virgin Mary in the miraculous and...

A CAROL FOR THE DESPAIRING

www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2018/december/longfellow-carol-for-despairing-i-heard-bells.html Penned during the Civil War, Longfellow’s ‘I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day’...

?? A DIGITAL CHURCH IN THE DIGITAL AGE ??

 https://www.christianitytoday.com/pastors/2018/fall-state-of-church-ministry/embodied-church-in-digital-age.html Should we cheer or moan when online churches perform virtual baptisms? By: Kara...

CHINA CRACKS DOWN – AGAIN

https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2018/november/what-to-do-about-persecution-in-china.html?share=56xKkXi%2fdTPQjQCm3LBm6NPogOGXW4vm   The government is removing crosses from their steeples and replacing them...

WHERE HAVE ALL THE CHURCH PLANTERS GONE?

christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2018/august/where-have-all-church-planters-gone.                  What’s the greatest hindrance to effective church planting? BY: Jeff Christopherson You...

SINGLES: A VITAL PART OF OUR CHURCHES

www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2018/july/singles-vital-part-of-our-churches Singles make up half of our churches, so we best learn to treat...

3 COMMON REASONS FOR MINISTRY BURNOUT

www.startchurch.com/blog/view/name/how-to-prevent-ministry-burnout? By: Raul Rivera Burnout reason #1: Critical Church Members Oftentimes, one of the...

THESE BOMBS LED ME TO CHRIST

https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2018/may/napalm-girl-kim-phuc-phan-thi-fire-road.html The “Napalm Girl” from a famous Vietnam War photo tells her story of...

JESUS’ GLORIFIED BODY

 By Frank G. Tunstall  Cleopas and his unnamed friend had Jesus’ undivided attention on...

“JESUS WEPT!”

 By Frank G. Tunstall When Mary walked up to Jesus on the outskirts of...

5 TOP PRIORITIES FOR INCREASING YOUR CHURCH

 sermoncentral.com/pastors-preaching-articles/charles-arn-5-top-priorities-for-increasing-your-church This article is a classic on church growth. It was first released in 2010...

OFFENDED BY JESUS?

By: Frank G. Tunstall  Luke records a story about Jesus paying a visit to...

EVANGELIST BILLY GRAHAM HAS DIED

www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2018/billy-graham/mom-mass-media-and-me.html ‘America’s pastor’ shaped modern evangelicalism. By: Marshall Shelley Billy Graham was perhaps the...

ICEBERG COLD REJECTION

  By: Frank G. Tunstall  Jesus the Prophet deserved the highest adoration, but the...

BLAME US FOR GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN

https://townhall.com/columnists/calthomas/2018/01/23/blame-us-for-government-shutdown-n2438025     By: Cal Thomas If we don’t like what is happening in...

THE SURPRISING REASON YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE

https://hutchcraft.com/a-word-with-you/your-mission/the-surprising-reason-you-are-where-you-are-8093 By: Ron Hutchcraft Some years ago, we took a delegation of teenagers to...

WHAT YOUR PASTOR REALLY WANTS FOR CHRISTMAS

ChristianityToday.com/pastors/2017/november-web-exclusives/what-your-pastor-really-wants-for-christmas.html?utm_source BY:The editors of CTPastors.com This Christmas, forego the wooden praying hands, the cross-stitched...

CAN THERE BE ONE RIGHT RELIGION?

http://seanmcdowell.org/blog/can-there-be-one-right-religion; Posted November 14, 2017   By: Sean McDowell Recently I was in a...

THE ONE GROUP YOU MIGHT FORGET THIS CHRISTMAS

http://blog.thrivingpastor.com/the-one-group-you-might-forget-this-christmas-2/?refcd=574803&utm_campaign=Thriving+Pastor By John McGee  Nov. 27, 2017 The holiday season is upon us. As...

HEALING HEALERS

By Phil Larson, as told to Frank Tunstall The world’s largest casino is located...

FAITH IS NOT BLIND!

BY: FRANK TUNSTALL Some critics’ claim Christians believe on blind faith, defined as belief...

HOW WE GOT OUR BIBLE: CHRISTIAN HISTORY TIMELINE

 http://www.christianitytoday.com/history/issues/issue-43/how-we-got-our-bible-christian-history-timeline.html Have you ever wondered how the Bible has developed through the centuries, so...

IRS TAXES PASTOR FOR SALARY HE NEVER RECEIVED

www.utm_source=internal&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=blog&utm_content=irs_taxes_pastor_for_salary_he_never_received_2017_10_05 By: Raul Rivera This time of year we get an abundance of phone...

WHAT THE CARPENTER SEES IN YOU

https://hutchcraft.com/a-word-with-you/your-most-important-relationship/what-the-carpenter-sees-in-you-7979  By Ron Hutchcraft  Hutchcraft.Com Many years ago we were shopping for a place...

A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING UNDERWAY AT WHITE HOUSE

http://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/politics/2017/july/bible-studies-at-the-white-house-whos-at-the-heart-of-this-spiritual-awakening “It’s the best Bible study that I’ve ever taught in my life. They...

WHEN A PRIVATE APOLOGY IS NOT ENOUGH

sermoncentral.com/pastors-preaching-articles/joe-mckeever-when-a-private-apology-is-not-enough   This article is certainly thought provoking. I think he is saying something...

REMEMBER THIS WHEN YOU’RE TIRED OF PEOPLE

thrivingpastor.com/remember-this-when-youre-tired-of-people-2/?refcd=518301&utm_campaign=Remember+This+When+You’re+Tired+of+People   By: John McGee  July 10, 2017 / Focus on the Family Have...

HOW TO LAST IN MINISTRY

Pastor Rick’s Ministry Toolbox <info=pastors.com@mail143.wdc02.mcdlv.net By: Rick Warren Ministry is a marathon: it’s not...

THE SUCCESS AFFAIR

christianitytoday.com/pastors/2017/june-web-exclusives/success-affair.html?utm_source=leadership-tml&utm_medium=Newsletter Why do so many adulterous relationships begin when ministry is going well? By:...

THE MANY BENEFITS OF GRATITUDE

http://blog.thrivingpastor.com/the-many-benefits-of-gratitude/?refcd=504701&utm_campaign=The+Many+Benefits+of+Gratitude This well written article is excellent for focusing us on the grace of...

THE SOBBING SAVIOR

By: Frank G. Tunstall I thought about it hundreds of times over the years,...

HOSANNA

By: Frank G. Tunstall “The next day the great crowd that had come for...

“PRAY FIRST!”

Dr. Ron White serves as president of Emmanuel College. He assumed that role October...

COURAGEOUS CONVERSATIONS

sermoncentral.com/pastors-preaching-articles/lance-witt-courageous-conversations–part-2 By: Lance Witt Courageous conversations is a battle of prepositions.  Half of the...

ONE QUESTION YOU MUST NEVER ASK IN MINISTRY

classic.sermoncentral.com/pastors-preaching-articles/joe-mckeever-one-question-you-must-never-ask-in-ministry-2697.asp? “Sow your seed in the morning, and do not be idle in the...

I WENT TO HELL IN A DREAM

  charismamag.com/spirit/supernatural/28155-revivalist-i-went-to-hell-in-a-dream During this night of terror more than 25 years ago, I fell...

FRANKLIN GRAHAM SPEAKS OUT ABOUT ELECTION

theblaze.com/stories/2016/10/16/franklin-graham-sounds-off-about-the-evangelical-response-to-trumps-latest-scandals By: Franklin Graham   October 16, 2016 A lot of people are slamming evangelicals...

WILL MORE INVITATIONS RESULT IN MORE SALVATIONS?

http://www.sermoncentral.com/pastors-preaching-articles/hal-seed-will-more-invitations-result-in-more-salvations-2592.asp? By Hal Seed // PastorMentor.com For a long time I’ve wondered if there...

WHEN TO DISOBEY?

 By: David Koyzis  What happens when the demands of government contradict our faith in...

“IT IS FINISHED!”

 By Frank G. Tunstall The ancient Greeks boasted about being able to say much...

The Day I Hit the Wall

By: Gordon McDonald Marathon runners speak of “hitting the wall,” a moment in a...

HONORING MARRIAGE

Posted by Focus on the Family, December 7, 2015 by Kevin Conklin I once...

Life Is Eternal; Don’t Have an Affair!

http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2015/august/life-is-eternal-dont-have-affair.html By Ed Stetzer  Aug. 25, 2015. This week, we’ve found it’s not as...

MODERN-DAY MARTYRS

BY Richard Greene With cancer eating away at her, the Iraqi woman faced a...

Divorced Dads

A Helpful Perspective on Your Ex The Championship Fathering blog by Carey Casey One...

Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.




Top